George Osborne formalized his opinion of the electorate with a budget stating “I’ll buy your future for a shiny copper piece, you drunken peons”. Here at UK1P we’d never dream of insulting you like that. Because we’ve just seen that it doesn’t work. No, we’re here to make you a much better offer:
A whole pint off every pint.
Every drink in the country FREE the night we take power. Well, it’ll be a going-away party, won’t it. A great big sending off party celebrating the United Kingdom One Person party’s pledge to get rid of everyone in the country except for one person. And since that person won’t be able to drink all the liquor in the country anyway, or at least not without causing the quick extinction of the nation, it’s effectively free for us to reduce the tax, VAT, duty, and price of every drink to zero. And it’ll make it all the easier to shovel the unconscious bodies into padded trucks for deportation in the morning.
Not you, of course. When you vote for UK1P you’ll be left in a glorious free country with no debt and zero unemployment (since you’ll immediately have every job you could want from prime minister down to street sweeper, depending on how useful you feel like being that day). Never again will you have to wait at the bar, and never again will you have to listen to sum drunk arsehole staggering down the street naked and singing. Unless you feel like it and can find an alley with an echo.
VOTE UK1P: A PINT OFF THE PINT.